Ten signs Santa has marraige problems

• He's replaced all the elves with scantily clad Swedish exchange students
• Mrs. Claus calls him "that fat freak in the red underwear"
• He traded in his sleigh for a van with a waterbed
• He's been spending a little too much time with the life-sized Holiday Barbie
• His new live-in personal elf valet, Steve
• Mrs. Claus having cybersex relationship with accountant from New Jersey
• He knows when she's been sleeping, he knows when she's awake, because he's bugged the bedroom
• Lately, she keeps "forgetting" to tie her robe when she brings the elves their morning coffee
• Stockings aren't the only things he's been nailing in front of the fireplace
• Not a creature is stirring in Santa's pants