Christmas Cracker Jokes
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Did you hear
about the stupid plastic surgeon?
Yes. He stood in front of the fire and melted! |
Doctor, Doctor!
Everyone thinks I'm a liar!
Doctor: I don't believe you! |
Father Christmas
lost his umbrella but he didn't get wet! Why not?
Because it wasn't raining! |
How can you
get your name in lights the world over?
Change your name to Emergency Exit! |
How do monkeys
make toast?
Stick some bread under the gorilla! |
How do witches
tell the time?
With a witch-watch! |
How do you
start a polar-bear race?
Say 'Ready! Teddy! Go!' |
How does Father
Christmas climb up a chimney?
He uses a ladder in the stocking! |
I say, I say,
I say! My wife's gone to the West Indies!
Jamaica?
No. She was quite happy to go! |
If I'm standing
at the North Pole, facing the South Pole, and the East is on my left hand, what's
on my right hand?
Fingers! |
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