Christmas Cracker Jokes
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I'm letting my pet pig sleep on my bed!
What about the smell?
He'll just have to get used to it! |
Waiter! Water! My Christmas pudding is off!
Waiter: Off? Where to? |
What did the police do when the hares escaped from the zoo?
They combed the area! |
What do you do if your dog has ticks?
Don't wind him up! |
What do you get hanging from Father Christmas' roof?
Tired arms! |
What do you get if you cross a cowboy with an octopus?
Billy the squid! |
What do you get if you cross a gnome with a vampire?
A monster that sucks the blood out of your kneecaps! |
What do you get if you cross a hen with a bedside clock?
An alarm cluck! |
What do you get if you cross a kangaroo with an octopus, a sheep and a zebra?
A striped, woolly jumper with eight sleeves! |
What do you get if you cross a whale with a bird that quacks?
Moby Duck! |
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