Christmas Dinner Jokes
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Mother bought a huge turkey for Christmas dinner.
'That must have cost a fortune!' I said .
'Actually I got it for a poultry amount,' she said. |
A man went to a butcher's and saw that the turkeys were 90p a pound. He said to the butcher, 'Do you raise them yourself?'
'Of course I do,' the butcher replied. 'They were only 50p a pound this morning!' |
How do you tell the difference between tinned turkey and tinned custard?
Look at the labels! |
Did you hear about the stupid turkey?
It was looking forward to Christmas! |
Who made this Christmas pudding?
Our chef. He's a little green man who lives in a toadstool.
What did he use to make it?
Elf-raising flour, of course. |
Last year's Christmas pudding was so awful I threw it in the ocean.
That's probably why the ocean's full of currants! |
I'd like Father Christmas stew.
Er... how do you make Father Christmas stew?
You keep him waiting half an hour! |
Is that policeman eating turkey?
No, he's eating truncheon meat. |
This turkey's disgusting!
Well, you asked for a foul roast! |
This turkey tastes like an old settee.
Well, you asked for something with plenty of stuffing. |
What's brown and creeps around the house?
Mince spies! |
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