I wouldn't
say Christmas gnomes are small.
But they used to be lumberjacks on a mushroom farm! |
| Christmas gnomes
are so small in fact that they have to stand on a ladder to fasten their shoe
laces! |
|
I wouldn't say
Christmas gnomes are ugly,
But if beauty's skin deep then they were was born inside out!
|
I wouldn't
say that Christmas gnomes are cross-eyed,
but when they cry the tears run down their back! |
What do gnomes
fear most about Christmas?
They're afraid Father Christmas will give them the sack! |
Teacher: Give
me a sentence with the word gnome in it!
Pupil: Er.... the man's house burnt down so.... he hadn't a gnome to go to! |
Gnome: Doctor,
Doctor! I keep seeing pink and green spots in front of my eyes!
Doctor: Good gracious! Have you seen an optician?
Gnome: No... just pink and green spots!
Doctor: I mean, have you ever had your eyes checked?
Gnome: No. They've always been blue! |
Father Christmas:
How do I stop a Christmas Gnome being airsick on the sledge?
Gnome : Put a five pound note between his teeth and stick his head over the side
of the sledge. |
What song do
Father Christmas' gnomes sing to him when he comes home cold on Christmas night?
Freeze a jolly good fellow! |
What did the little demon do when he bought a house?
He called it Gnome Sweet Gnome. |
