Christmas Present Jokes
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Can I have
a wombat for Christmas?
What would you do with a wombat?
Play wom, of course, stupid! |
Can I have
a broken drum for Christmas?
The best thing you could have asked for. You can't beat it! |
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Can I have a
puppy for Christmas?
Certainly not. You can have turkey like everybody else!
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Dear Father
Christmas, this Christmas could you please send me a yellow door.
Yours, Sherlock Holmes
Watson: So why do you want a yellow door Holmes?
Lemon-entry my dear watson.
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Dear Father
Christmas, could you please send me a musical instrument.
Thank you, Yours
A. Fisherman
Father Christmas: That's easy, we'll send him a cast-a-net. |
Dear Father
Christmas, could you please send me some Crocodile shoes!.
Father Christmas: Can't do that one. He hasn't said what size his crocodile takes! |
I am nearly
bald. This Christmas could you please send me something to keep my hair in.
Father Christmas: Send him a paper bag, and a comb; I'll bet he never parts with
it! |
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Woman: Have
you something for my husband? He has flat feet.
Assistant: Why not buy him a foot pump?
Woman: And he suffers from water on the knee.
Assistant: So buy him some drainpipe trousers !
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Woman: What
would you give to the man who has everything?
Assistant: Penicillin?
Woman: He'd really like a tie to match his eyes.
Assistant: Blue, brown, green or grey?
Woman: You don't do 'bloodshot' I suppose? |
Man: That train
set looks fantastic. I'll take one.
Assistant: I'm sure your son will love it, Sir!
Man: (sighs) Oh, yes..... I suppose he would. You'd better give me two,
then. |
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